What it’s like to be a foster carer: Kathy’s Story

How long have you been a foster carer?

I’ve been fostering with my husband, Andrew, for four years.

How many children have you fostered?

We have had four placements in total, caring for five children. Two of those children are currently with us now.

What made you get into foster care?

We couldn’t have children of our own so decided to look at fostering. We’ve always felt that we have space in our home and our heart to care for children. It’s been a wonderful life experience for us all!

What do you think are the main skills needed to be a good foster carer?

A sense of humour and being aware of your own strengths and vulnerabilities. Equally important is having a good support network around you and an ability to see things from a child’s perspective. Treat them with compassion and give them hope.

How do you manage the relationship with your existing family and introducing a foster child ?

Before introducing any child to our family we made sure we let the child settle in placement first, took things at their pace and made sure they were comfortable with their new surroundings, before gradually starting any new introductions.

What’s the most rewarding thing about being a foster carer?

Seeing a child become part of society and the wider community. Hearing them laugh or sing and seeing them look relaxed and free to be child. It’s also important to celebrate the small things, whatever they may be.

What are the biggest challenges associated with being a foster carer?

The biggest challenges are the ‘meltdowns’ a child can have, because of their past experiences. Processing the trauma they may have been through and being able to work through it. 

School can also be a challenge, so it’s important good communication is kept throughout with everybody involved in the child’s life, especially as expectations from others can be so high.

What’s the funniest / most memorable thing that has happened during your time as a foster carer?

The current boy we have placed with us comes out with the funniest things when you least expect it. He recently said to a man serving in the shop: “Do you know Captain Underpants?”, to which the man replied that he did… “Good, because you look just like him”.

How does Time Out Fostering Support you with work as a foster carer?

We cannot speak highly enough of Time Out Fostering. The support they give feels like having a life jacket in the cupboard. 

Everyone there knows us really well and they are always available to help. Our Supervising Social Worker is excellent in every way.

If you had to give one bit of advice to people thinking about becoming a foster carer, what would you say?

If it’s in your heart, go for it! Explore and talk to other foster carers, read up on fostering and then take the first step and see where it takes you!