What it’s like to be a foster carer: Colin & Clare’s story

How long have you been a foster carer?

Over two years. We started caring for our foster child very soon after our approval in February 2021.

How many children have you fostered?

One

What made you get into foster care?

Colin – After looking after our grandchildren, I said to Clare that I would be interested in helping other children and maybe we should look into fostering.

Clare – At about the same time we attended our son’s passing out parade, in which I had a lightbulb moment that we had done well bringing up our children and it would be good if we could now help other children.

Colin – We both talked about a mutual interest in trying this and started researching agencies to start the journey with. At no point did we feel pressured or pushed to go through with fostering.

What do you think are the main skills needed to be a good foster carer?

• Communication – got to be able to talk to the children.
• Consistency
• Setting good examples
• Patience and to be able to listen

How do you manage the relationship with your existing family and introducing a foster child ?

Our children are all grown up now and live away from the home but they came round when our foster child moved in and welcomed him with open arms.

Introductions happened quite naturally; we carried on as normal and never made a big deal of anything. Our eldest daughter took him to get some toys and we went to the beach with family – everyone accepted from the off that he was part of the family.

What’s the most rewarding thing about being a foster carer?

Watching and sharing in his achievements. He’s learnt to swim and it was lovely to see him progress and gain confidence throughout the process.

It’s been a great joy witnessing a young man grow and become more confident and successful in whatever he does.

What are the biggest challenges associated with being a foster carer?

We’d say that things are testing rather than challenging. The main things being having different parenting views and the feeling like being a carer comes with even more responsibility, as you are looking after someone else’s child.

What’s the funniest / most memorable thing that has happened during your time as a foster carer?

We attended our son’s wedding and our foster child was playing on a zip wire with our grandchild. Our grandchild was encouraged to go first and the line went straight over a muddy puddle. He fell off into the puddle covering his smart shoes and suit in mud.

One memorable moment for our foster child was when we all went to watch our daughter compete in a 10k run. He asked to run with her in support which we said he could, he surprised us all by actually completing the whole race and getting a medal for it!

In general, the whole thing of caring for him is memorable. He makes us laugh and he loves dancing! We love sharing in his enjoyment and fun.

How does Time Out Fostering support you with work as a foster carer?

They are faultless – they answer queries or give advice as soon as you need it. As they are small, everyone knows us well and although we don’t need them too often, they are always available when we do.

If you had to give one bit of advice to people thinking about becoming a foster carer, what would you say?

Ensure you have strong support from the agency you foster with.

If you’re willing to learn, there are so many courses you can do that will help with your fostering. The pros far outweigh the cons when considering the idea of being a foster carer.