Gunter, a former Time Out Fostering carer, tells his story of looking after an unaccompanied 16 year old asylum seeker from Afghanistan, in this eye-opening, funny and often poignant summary of the experience. 

“Haroon came to us knowing little English and having had an unhappy experience with another foster family.  We were informed that he was Muslim, but not overly religious, so it shouldn’t be a problem that we had a dog (dogs in islam are conventionally thought of as impure / unclean).  We quickly found the opposite and had to look at ways of keeping our overly friendly Labradoodle, Izzy, away from Haroon!  We often came into the breakfast room to find him having barricaded himself from Izzy with chairs to keep her from disturbing him whilst he was eating!  Although a challenge to overcome, you do have to have a sense of humour and remain relaxed when faced with these kinds of situations!  Thankfully, over time Izzy did learn to stay away from him.

“ONE OF THE BIGGEST REWARDS WAS GETTING HIM A BIKE THAT HE HAD DESPERATELY WANTED AND SEEING HIM CYCLE TO THE RAILWAY STATION SHOUTING TO MY WIFE. “HELLO AUNTIE!” 

“Although our cultural and religious backgrounds were so different from Haroon’s, we were able to introduce him to a youth group consisting of other Afghans, as well as take him to the local mosque.  We were fortunate to have a nearby school teaching English as a second language, which Haroon attended for a number of weeks before he was able to join a local school.  

“Possibly the biggest challenge was supporting him with the discrimination he experienced from professionals who should know better, such as a guard at a railway station who refused to let him on the train, despite having the correct paperwork. One of the biggest rewards was getting him a bike that he had desperately wanted, and seeing him cycle to the railway station shouting out to my wife, “Hello Auntie!”.

“It was a real blessing for us to be able to look after and learn from Haroon.  Yes, we were able to help him in a little way, but we were able to get so much out of that experience ourselves.”

Things to consider when fostering unaccompanied asylum seekers

Gunter also kindly shared his insights and thoughts for those interested in fostering unaccompanied asylum seeking children. 

1. They are children, like our own, and need to be looked after and cared for with the same concern and passion.
2. They will likely have experienced trauma and loss, which they will need support with. Often this is by just giving them time and a listening ear – trying to see things from their perspective. There are also professional organisations out there who will also be able to help.  
3. It’s easy to develop a view that they should be grateful for being in our country, and that view is one that’s’ not particularly helpful.  We need to remind ourselves how much they have lost.
4. We need to be able to respect their culture and religion, but also help them to understand and respect ours. Haroon had grown up in a culture where boys learned to treat women in a certain way and we had to help him to understand that women had an equal position in our society and needed to be given the same respect as men. Hearing this from myself, as a man, was particularly important for him.
5. Don’t let communication be an obstacle; with humour and all of the modern day technology at our disposal, such as google translate, and straightforward miming, it is amazing how easy it is to communicate.  As foster carers you also are able to access translation services, which are important for situations where they are needed, such as medical appointments.
6. Don’t try and second guess why they are in our country or be suspicious of their motives. Our job as foster carers is to look after them as best we can in place of their parents.
7. Create opportunities to have fun together.
8. Enjoy the experience of learning from them because they have so much to give!

From all of us at Time Out Fostering, our thanks to our former carer, Gunter, for taking the time to give us his insights into life supporting an unaccompanied asylum seeker to adapt to a new way of life and support them through the associated upheaval and adjustment. 

Thanks for reading! If you’re interested in becoming a foster carer, please get in touch today for a friendly, informal chat, to see if it’s right for you. Who knows, you could be changing the life of a child for the better in the future too.